star_kingdom | [Video] Chess

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[Video] Chess

[The heartless have been getting to quite a few people lately. It's hard to tell at first whether Ami is one of them. She's inside, seated at a small table and playing chess against herself. Masters of the game would note the arrangement of the board as a very famous end game maneuver. She's testing it again, noting its weaknesses and the ways to defend against it.

It's keeping her mind off the shadows, and the things that always seem to not-quite-be-there when she looks. It's keeping her mind off the doubts, the worries, the insecurities. But there's very little of her usual gentle smile despite the seeming calm. She has a perhaps not-so-incongruous question.]

What are the things you do to relax and unwind your mind?

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Concentrating on it is the easy part. But if I do that, how will I get it out of my mind?

One step at a time. Think about one single thing.

[That's easy enough, and she nods.]

There's something on my mind anyway.

What is it?

I'm worried for my friends. Being here is a hard situation.

People tend to make things bigger than what they really are. I'm not saying you do but the more you dwell on a thought, the more things you start worrying about. For example, if I asked you why this was a hard situation, you would give me a story about the reasons and they probably won't really end. So, instead of going in that direction, you have to make it simple.

You're worried about your friends, don't think about the situation. One thing at a time, without context. You're worried about your friends. Don't think of the why, just think about your friends.

[That's easy enough advice to follow, and though her face is still solemn, Ami manages a nod.]

I'll think about my friends.

[It starts well - she calls up mental images of their faces, smiling and laughing; times spent together.]

[He's quiet for a few moments.] Are you thinking about them? Good thoughts?

Yes, I am. [But given much more time, they take a turn that leads to thinking about missing them, worrying for the ones not here, worrying about how to help the ones who are.]

The key to this part is to think about something and think about it in a positive way. Don't think about missing your friends, think about your friends: how they are, how they act. Think of them when they were safe, a time when you actually knew they were all right.

The next step is just that: there's a possibility that they're okay. Accept it. Let go of that memory. Be just one with yourself.

[And he inhaled.]

Keep breathing at a rhythm.

[Good things about her friends should be easy to think of, and Ami nods. She calls to mind some of the fun things they've done together over the years, and the way they smile and laugh.

The breathing is the easier part. She counts silently to herself with each breath, holding them several seconds.]

[He keeps his mouth shut, losing himself into his own meditation, head tilted forward slightly.]

[Ami shifts her position to be more comfortable, and tries to quiet her mind; but as she starts to think, she starts to think of more than she intends to. She starts to think of the heartless, of the darkness, of the battles she's come through and the battles left to fight.]

[He notices her change, her breathing quickened.]

Concentrate. Don't think.

[By the time Kanda speaks, Ami's tangled in her mind so much that she startles at his voice - but it has nothing to do with sinking into meditation.]

I'm sorry; my mind was drifting.

Your worse than Lenalee. At least you're not crying.

I wasn't being distracted. It was the opposite.

Try again. Just like I told you.

[Ami gives a small sigh, but complies, shutting her eyes and settling back again. There is no fear, at least, of her falling asleep during the process.]

[He waited again until her breathing steadied before sitting up and moving to sit before her, knees inches away from hers while he watched. If she started getting distracted again, he would know.]

[Even with her eyes closed, she can tell he's come a bit closer; it distracts her a little, but she tries to remind herself to keep her attention on the train of thought she's trying to encourage.]

[He's watching her for a moment until finally speaking.]

An easier way can be thinking of something and shortening it to a word that can describe it. If you're thinking about your friends, you can use words like 'safe' or 'home'.

[She tries to think of what words to use; then she realizes she's going about it the wrong way, perhaps, and lets her mind relax and simply focus on the girls to see what thoughts that produces.]

Happy. [She can imagine them smiling.]

Happy. [Okay, good.] Now concentrate on peace. Happiness is a positive emotion, peace feels like anything you want it to feel. Happiness can bring people peace. Incorporate this.

The two don't always go together, I'm afraid.

[Video] Chess

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