star_kingdom | ♕ 002 // Video [Severely Backdated Nightmare]

[At first, not much can be seen through the flame and thick, black smoke that have filled the bedroom that's being broadcast over video. There is no sound other than the crackle and snap of burning wood for a few moments, until a hoarse voice starts calling out. Akihiko appears onscreen, his face smeared with soot as he calls a name over and over, occasionally inhaling more of the smoke than intended and coughing harshly.]

Miki! Hold on, I'm coming! Miki!

[He raises an arm to cover his eyes as he pushes through burning debris, stopping short when he reaches the bed at the center of the room, its once-pink bedspread being licked at by eager flames. He falls to his knees without notice, and though the rest of her body is hidden by the bed itself, feet belonging to a small girl poke out past the end -- her slippers are burnt and melted almost beyond recognition, which doesn't bode well for the rest of her person. Akihiko clutches at his chest, wheezing slightly as he inhales more smoke, his face having gone white.]

Miki... no... I was too late...

Too late. You're always too late. Miki deserved better. She always called you her hero, but you're not strong enough to help anyone, are you?

[He freezes, breathing heavily before looking over his shoulder, just in time to see a tall, slender figure in a burgundy overcoat and black knit hat join him. Akihiko slowly rises to his feet, and there are faint tracks left on his face where tears cut through the soot.]

Shinji...

[The figure turns so that the camera can catch a better glimpse of him, and while it indeed appears to be Shinjiro, the front of his coat is stained with blood, as are the corners of his mouth and his chin, a gaping gunshot wound displayed on his chest, still bleeding sluggishly.]

Face it. You couldn't help anyone then, and you can't do it now. You've been working your ass off for years, wasting all that time training. Never did anyone any good, did it? You're still weak. Couldn't save Miki. Couldn't save me. You should've been there sooner that night. Just like you should've gotten to Miki sooner than you did. You knew where I was goin'. Knew what might happen. You let me die, just like you let your sister die. You're not a hero. You're a weakling. You're cursed. Can't protect the people you love.

[Akihiko stares at the open wound, horrified.]

I could have stopped it... I should have been there sooner, I should have known...

'Should' ain't gonna help anyone now, Aki. I blame you for what happened.

[The silver-haired young man looks stunned, before his expression goes utterly slack.]

It was my fault. Your death, and Miki's. My fault.

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( she keeps her expression and tone even ) ... Guess everyone's got some skeletons in their closet.

Their blood is on my hands. He's right. I've never been able to protect anyone who meant something to me when it counted.

Goin' up against nature like that isn't exactly the easiest fight to pick, either. ( she's referring to the fire. that guy with the gunshot, well.. the jury's still out )

I promised I would never let anything happen to her...

( a sigh ) Sometimes, there ain't nothin' you can do about it. It's outta our hands. But there's no use in dwellin' on it, playin' out all the what-if's. What you gotta do now, is make sure it never happens again. Turn that into strength.

That's what I thought, too. Spent my whole life living that way... and it didn't do me any good. I still lost Shinjiro.

( pause ) What, you mean Mr. Talkative? ( but she's seen him... and he seemed pretty, well, alive for the most part... )

Yes. It's... complicated.

Complicated's just one of the things par for the course in this place.

I'm starting to see that pattern, myself.

Take care'a yourself, all right? Don't go lettin' this place get to ya, as hard as it is sometimes.

That's good advice... I should get my head on straight and take it.

Good. Now you're talkin' sense.

What the Hell -- ??

[Two Shinjis? Even though, by all accounts, there shouldn't be a bloodied Shinji talking to him in the first place, the heat of the flames and everything else is so realistic that, along with Akihiko himself being somewhat sleep-hazed, he is thoroughly confused and visibly upset.]

Shinji... I can't ever make up for it. I know that.

]Shinjiro contains himself, shaking a moment, reeling in any more emotional response in favor of his usual low-level sullen hostility.]

Quit talkin' bullshit. You don't owe me anything, Aki. Nothing to make up for.

How can you say that? How can you not blame what happened on me? I should have known better! I should have been there!

I knew what I was getting into, and it was my own damn business, not yours. You think I wanted you gettin' in the way when I was going to keep the kid from killing me? It was a private conversation. I made my own choices, and you trying to act like what happened is your fault? It ain't even worth being called nonsense. It's insulting. Nobody put you in charge of looking after me.

Ain't like I didn't appreciate the help, but you're not to blame for one damn bit of it.

[He looks down and takes a deep breath before looking up again to stare right into Akihiko's eyes.]

And Miki'd say pretty much the same. Not the first bit, but... that ain't the kind of burden you can just shoulder, like there isn't a world out there that screws everything up without any help from us.

[There's a long, drawn-out pause, and Akihiko shifts uncomfortably as he considers Shinjiro's words, though his expression is still guilt-ridden beneath all the soot.]

I relive it all the time. The night we lost Miki, and then... [He doesn't even need to say he keeps seeing the night Shinji was shot, it's like beating a dead horse, but the head and heart act separately. Just because he knows Shinji's right doesn't change how he feels.]

You're right. Doesn't mean I can't help feeling I could have done something differently. But you're right. It just hurts like hell.

You sure as hell ain't alone in that, Aki. But we get by. Day at a time, right?

Yeah... it's really all we can do, isn't it?

♕ 002 // Video [Severely Backdated Nightmare]

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[ video ] /horribly late, sorry!

[ video ] nnnnope. late is not a word in my dictionary |D

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[Video] /late as usual