star_kingdom | ✖ Dante ✖ Mission Nine: // Traverse Town

All right, guys. Listen up. This is an important announcement coming your way so stop playing with yourself and lend me your ears.

[He thinks he's so funny sometimes.]

It's probably come to your attention that the IDPD; Inter-dimensional Police Department if you don't know what I'm talkin' about, has been missing it's head. By that I mean Sephiroth is gone and he didn't leave a note with instructions. So, because I like my job and getting a pay check would be nice, I'm self proclaiming myself as head of the IDPD.

If anyone has a problem with that, I'm always up for complaints or maybe some other hopeful for the job. I'm not stingy, less work for me. Anyway, if I am going to be our Chief here, we're gonna make a few changes. We're also gonna need new recruits.

[And he lifted his finger at the camera to point.]

You! Yes you, are you tired of not having enough money? Do you want more upgrades for your gummie ship to impress the ladies but don't have the munny for it? Are you a compulsive shopper running out of funds or maybe you just want to buy a few things that remind you of home? Do you eat a lot and is money making your belt tight, do you want to feed the poor? Do you like killing, maybe helping people? I got the solution just for you!

Don't be lame, be a cop! Now accepting new recruits. No, you don't need to fill out an application, just tell me if you can actually fight the heartless. All current members report! Who hasn't gotten pay checks? I'm not doing paperwork.

Flat | Top-Level Comments Only

[Hey, extra money means more money to buy shirts!]

Yeah, yeah. Just don't screw me over. You dont know how to play with toys, obviously.

[He'll buy the kind that don't button all the way up. ]

Depends on the toy and the game we are playing at the time. No one can beat me at Sudden Death.

How about you set me free and I'll show you I can give you a run for your money. Or thrown. Whatever you gods use for pink slips.

Termination notices. And no, why would I let you go after all the trouble I went through to recruit you? Nah, you and I will be working together for a long time yet.

Do you say that because I'll live forever or because you probably won't get bored of me any time soon? People say you get bored easily. That kinda hurts, man.

Now why would I get bored of you, one of the most competent minions I've had? Don't give it a second thought.
You, me, eternal partnership... we will make the Underworld the most sought after evil destination there is.

Do I get bonus's on Christmas and my birthday?

[Hades considers this... ]

Eh, why not.

[It would be like double what Pain and Panic get... which is nothing. ]

[And he points at the feed.]

Ah, fell for it. I knew you believed in Jesus too. My birthday is on November first. Write it down somewhere.

What is it with you, going on and on, bringing up these mashugana things all the time... just... just go back to your faux little police job there and try not to strain yourself, ok?
Oy, even the decent minions talk too much...

I don't see you writing it down. Write it down. I'm obnoxious.

Yeah, yeah... [Hades waves a hand dismissively. ]

I'll make a memo about it.

Now, we do have a little business to attend to. See, there is this guy with this magic book, I want you to go and take that book from him. Kapeesh?

His name is Saleh and he usually hangs around in Traverse Town.

Magic book, hu? That sounds simple enough. What's in it?

A spell. The book is called Excalibur, so don't forget it.

Excalibur. Got it.

✖ Dante ✖ Mission Nine: // Traverse Town

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