star_kingdom | 08 ★ Video + Text

[The moment Allen woke up, he hadn't a clue where he was or ever how to managed to get to where he was, even though he knew what he had done as that creature. Putting a hand to his face, he tried to hold back the tears that were thretening to fall down, but to no avail as he felt them trickle down. Trying to reach over for a tissue, he instead knocks over the device, switching it on as Allen rolled his head towards the side, leaning over the edge in order to get the thing.

Allen's hair that was once white was now red, thanks to Kanda making a deal with a certain someone, it seems that it hasn't gone yet.]

Ah, I must have knocked it over.

[Faking a smile, he picked it up, the covers doing a good job at covering from the waist down, but his torso clearly showed the scars from previous battles. One which he caused himself and the other...well people would reconiuse the one as the place Allen had bleeding when he arrived. putting his free hand behind his head he laughed slightly.]

I'm sorry about any problems I caused. I guess certain situations in my life got to me big time and well... [He looked to the side slightly.] You all know what happened afterwards.

[He glanced down slightly before he switches off the feed to get changed and to think about a lot of things. After a couple of hours another message was posted but instead of it being video or voice, it was text.]

I need some time to think about the things I've done and what I'm going to do next. I really am sorry to everyone that I hurt while I was a heartless and I feel really bad that it happened. So I decided that until I find my resolve once more, I can't be close to anyone. I fear that I might hurt someone else, even though I'm no longer a heartless myself. So, I ask you not to find me, please.[Private to Kanda] Kanda, please take care of Lenalee and please whatever happens, don't look for me. It's better to keep everyone safe than to risk any more pain. [Private to Lenalee] Lenalee, please take care. I promise that someday I will return and we can all live together again. So, for now, please don't cry, afterall I think your face is much more beautiful when you smile, rather than when you cry.Thank you and goodbye.

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[He looks down for a moment.]

I...I know that I should ask for help when needed, but...I just can't risk it.

It's not your place to decide whether others want to take the risk.

You know me. I want to protect everyone, even if it's from myself.

Allen, I didn't come back so that you would go through this alone. Why do you think I looked for you in the first place!

I don't know. I didn't even know I needed looking for.

What are you talking about, back home. You ran off and-

[And then he figured he probably didn't know and this could make things worse.]

Just come back.

[If you could see them now, you'd see how confused he just was.]

I can't.

Yes you can. Just stand up and walk back here. Did you get lost again?

No. it's not that.

[He's on the Gummi ship and he still is leaving...he just hasn't said that.]

I'm still going, so please look after Lenalee.

Why don't you take care of her yourself? She's not going to like this anymore than I do.

[He sighs, how many times will this keep going around in circles.]

Because right now I don't trust myself to be able to protect her.

[As long as it takes because Kanda is not saying what he really wants to say. Like how this was Kanda's fault and not yours. Again.]

I can protect her, I can protect- [But he had tried to protect Allen and this happened. He couldn't say he could protect him again because it was a down-right lie.]

[He just heard the words that he was hoping for. Hearing the final call for the gummi ship boarding, he couldn't help but smile slightly.]

Good, than I know she is in good hands. After all, out of all I us I know I can trust you to do that... even if you can be grumpy.

Shut up.

[Dammit, Allen. Why did you have to say that? He heard that call but he wouldn't run out the door after him. Allen trusted him and yet, he had failed him.]

I didn't mean for this to happen...

[He pauses for a moment, unsure of what exactly he meant.]

What do you mean?

I'm supposed to be protecting you. You don't know why but.. I couldn't even do that.

Protecting me? Kanda, did you bang you head or something?

Don't you remember what you did for Alma and I?

I need to return the favor.

I remember opening the Ark. That's all I did really.

[Though repaying the favour, he's not sure he understands.]

Alma and I went through the Ark. We got our last moments together because of you. I owe you for that.

If you owe me, then look after Lenalee. That's all I ask for.

[He's not going to fight. He can't think of a way how.]

Don't get into too much trouble. I better here your still alive.

People keep telling me that and I keep saying I won't get into trouble. Trouble might find me.

As long as I don't have to go pick up your corpse, I don't care.

I'll be fine then. Don't worry about me.

【 VOICE 】

decaying - 2012-04-27 23:58 (UTC) - Expand