08 ★ Video + Text

[mynameisallen]

[The moment Allen woke up, he hadn't a clue where he was or ever how to managed to get to where he was, even though he knew what he had done as that creature. Putting a hand to his face, he tried to hold back the tears that were thretening to fall down, but to no avail as he felt them trickle down. Trying to reach over for a tissue, he instead knocks over the device, switching it on as Allen rolled his head towards the side, leaning over the edge in order to get the thing.

Allen's hair that was once white was now red, thanks to Kanda making a deal with a certain someone, it seems that it hasn't gone yet.]

Ah, I must have knocked it over.

[Faking a smile, he picked it up, the covers doing a good job at covering from the waist down, but his torso clearly showed the scars from previous battles. One which he caused himself and the other...well people would reconiuse the one as the place Allen had bleeding when he arrived. putting his free hand behind his head he laughed slightly.]

I'm sorry about any problems I caused. I guess certain situations in my life got to me big time and well... [He looked to the side slightly.] You all know what happened afterwards.

[He glanced down slightly before he switches off the feed to get changed and to think about a lot of things. After a couple of hours another message was posted but instead of it being video or voice, it was text.]

I need some time to think about the things I've done and what I'm going to do next. I really am sorry to everyone that I hurt while I was a heartless and I feel really bad that it happened. So I decided that until I find my resolve once more, I can't be close to anyone. I fear that I might hurt someone else, even though I'm no longer a heartless myself.

So, I ask you not to find me, please.

[Private to Kanda]
Kanda, please take care of Lenalee and please whatever happens, don't look for me. It's better to keep everyone safe than to risk any more pain.

[Private to Lenalee]

Lenalee, please take care. I promise that someday I will return and we can all live together again. So, for now, please don't cry, afterall I think your face is much more beautiful when you smile, rather than when you cry.

Thank you and goodbye.

Comments

【 VOICE 】

[albinoidiot]

Was it really your fault or somethin' else? You have to be sure it was your fault before you start blaming yourself.

【 VOICE 】

[mynameisallen]

Well, honestly I have no clue. While I wasn't in control of my own actions, it was still technically my own hands, or claws in this case that caused harm. I know that honestly in the future this might happen, but it's best to sort it now before I do.

【 VOICE 】

[albinoidiot]

So you have it in mind that you will turn into a heartless again? You're pretty pessimistic, kid.

【 VOICE 】

[mynameisallen]

Not exactly that, but I guess so.

【 VOICE 】

[albinoidiot]

Most people say something like 'that won't happen again' or anything around those lines.

【 VOICE 】

[mynameisallen]

I can't say that for certain myself. But, I always try my hardest.

【 VOICE 】

[albinoidiot]

That's still not good enough. You have to believe it. Tell yourself it's not gonna happen, don't be like that.

【 VOICE 】

[mynameisallen]

Be like what? It's true I can't say 100% it won't happen, but I fight it everyday and keep it back. This recent thing made me realise that maybe I wasn't trying as hard as I thought I was.

Maybe I will believe in myself more, but right now I'm working to get that back.

【 VOICE 】

[albinoidiot]

You sound so serious. Dammit kid, you're making my chest hurt.

【 VOICE 】

[mynameisallen]

That's because I am serious. I care for everyone here and I don't want to hurt them because of a second of doubt in myself.

Re: 【 VOICE 】

[albinoidiot]

You do what you have to do, then.

【 VOICE 】

[mynameisallen]

Thank you.