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skyboundknight.livejournal.com) wrote in
star_kingdom2011-08-14 02:31 am
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[Ugh. Not only was he beaten in a fight by some younger girl, he also bears the feelings of coming out of darkness. Again. It never gets any easier. There was something else, something odd about things said in a couple of encounters he's had, but he doesn't feel like bringing any of that up just yet. Kain doesn't really... want to face any people right now, but he feels he owes this apology as an act of penance. So he'll do this and then he intends to vanish. Forever if he can manage.]
[He'd vowed never to turn Dark again, and now look what's happened.]
To anyone I've harmed or spoken harshly toward, I apologize. There's no excuse for my recent behavior...
[Hesitates, he has no idea how to properly end this.]
...forgive me.
[He'd vowed never to turn Dark again, and now look what's happened.]
To anyone I've harmed or spoken harshly toward, I apologize. There's no excuse for my recent behavior...
[Hesitates, he has no idea how to properly end this.]
...forgive me.
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I give my word.
[Damn it. He's powerless to resist her.]
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[And by shortly, she means right away. However, travel by Gummi isn't instantaneous and it gives Rosa far too much time to begin putting together puzzle pieces that at one time did not fit. He claims this was the darkness acting, just as when he came and stole her from Damcyan in black armor, or his claims he only wanted to keep her close to him in that horrible tower. She cannot believe that she is nothing more to this darkness than a prize. Kain is far more honorable than that. That only leaves one other alternative and it grieves her heart.
It makes it for the best she did not bring Cecil with her. This is a discussion they should have alone. She disembarks feeling weighted down and begins the process of inquiring with people for the whereabouts of her friend.]
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Eventually she manages to make her way far enough up the mountain to garner his attention, even if she cannot quite attain to the ledge he's on. She waves and calls out his name. For once the dragoon will have to abandon the brooding post.]
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[He nods then in greeting, then bows his head to the side. What can he even say to repair the damage done?]
I'm sorry...
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You're already forgiven. You don't have to apologize anymore. Not to me.
[She sighs quietly, compassion written all over her face and takes a step forward.]
Why won't you look at me?
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[So much self-loathing right now, perhaps even more than usual.]
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[This meeting is turning out mildly more uncomfortable for her in light of what she has begun to suspect is an underlying truth. Still, he is hurting and she cannot abide that, worse still is the knowledge she could be causing him more, no matter how indirectly.
One hand goes to rest light on Kain's arm.]
Please do not inflict wounds on yourself which I cannot heal.
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[Although Kain won't go into just how deep those wounds go, and how much she's inflicted them just by being herself. Being in her presence is a comfort and agony at once.]
This darkness is mine alone to bear... so it's my fault.
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[So she's a little worked up but the last thing she wants is an open invitation for him to be used again or an excuse for him to exit their lives for so long again. Her eyes close in an attempt to steady herself, and when at last she does open them, it's to plead reason with him.]
Kain, nothing you could ever do would ever make me stop caring about you. You are my oldest and dearest friend. Please, let me help you.
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[That's the last thing he's ever wanted, it's why he kept his feelings to himself for so long... so that he didn't burden anyone. So that he didn't ruin those friendships. He failed at that, at least in his mind.]
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[She stops short and sighs miserably, now wishing that Cecil were with her to affirm all that she says. Rosa dislikes the chiding tone to her words, no matter how right they are, because she knows how they will be received and that Kain will only use that to justify more distance.]
Your absence is more a burden than anything you could do.
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I've only caused suffering to both of you by being around.
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Kain Highwind, would you stop being so stubborn and listen?
[Pot, meet kettle.]
I am not giving up on you, and you shouldn't either.
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Rosa, I could harm Cecil. ...Or you... I refuse to risk that.
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Is that what you're afraid of?
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[...except losing control and doing those horrible things.]
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Then don't look away.
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Rosa...
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I loved Cecil even when he took up the dark sword. I wasn't afraid of his darkness and I'm not afraid of yours.
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[He should have known. This was the reason he hadn't told anyone where he was going, when he'd left for Mount Ordeals. He knew Rosa would react like this.]
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[This is a battle you cannot win, Kain.]
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Why? Why don't you fear me, when you should...
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[No matter the time of day, no matter what storms rage through it, the sky is always his domain, the element he most belongs in.]
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